Ch Ch Ch China (think Chia Pet)

We landed in Beijing late Saturday night (March 29th) after flying in from Bangkok. Our flight was pretty uneventful… we watched Wet Hot American summer on the plane – great movie, but even greater moment when the gay sex scene occurred right as the stewardess was trying to give Josh some apple juice. A W K W. Also, an Asian couple across the aisle from us was also watching their own home movies at full volume – we of course use our headphones – but they gave us the death stare when Josh asked them to turn the sound down… there are certain common courtesies that Chinese people seem to be lacking. For example, the concept of person space doesn’t seem to exist in this country. Maybe it’s cause there are 1.3 BILLION people here, but no one seems to mind jamming up against each other – especially in the public buses which literally drive down the street looking so full it seems like if just one more person tried to step on, someone would have to fall out of the window in order to accommodate them. (Speaking of which, we did see a Chinese man literally hanging out the window of a bus and eating corn on the cob while at a truck stop somewhere between Wuhan and Yichang – pictures to come.) Also, no one waits in line in this country… everyone just runs and cuts each other … especially in the bathroom. Well, the girls bathroom anyway. Lindsey will be waiting in line to use a stall and Chinese women will just swoop in front of her and steal the newly opened stall. (But that certainly isn’t the worst part of the public restrooms here… more on the nastiness of Chinese toilets later…)

Anyway, we land in Beijing – and unlike the last time we tried to take a cab to our Beijing Hotel we arrived without complication. Our hotel was in the heart of downtown Bejing – which doesn’t mean it’s close to anything since Beijing is so fucking huge – yes, that big – that it is impossible to walk anywhere. We tried… and failed miserably because at certain parts of the city the blocks are literally a ten minute walk apart (which makes the street maps very deceiving, because something can look like it’s only 3 blocks away, but you might end up walking for 35 minutes to get there) . This enormity makes sense though, seeing as how there are 17 million people in the city… if Beijing wasn’t huge there wouldn’t be room for everyone. Beijing is the capital of capital of China and in case you’ve been living under a rock, we should mention that it is also the host of 2008 summer Olympic Games. China could not be more excited about this. You can’t talk to anyone here without them bringing it up…

So our first full day was Sunday the 30th. The rest of our tour group wasn’t scheduled to arrive until that afternoon, so we had a free day to explore on our own. The first thing we did was ask the concierge where to get our digital pictures put onto a CD – he nicely drew a map for us, it was only 3 blocks away. 35 minutes later we ended up at the camera store, which was well disguised, if it weren’t for the oversized pictures of young children posed awkwardly hanging outside we might never have found it. Also, on the way there we were approached by some students who told us that they wanted to practice their English on us. The young boy and girl seemed very nice so we obliged and began talking. Soon thereafter, they invited us to look at their art exhibit, which was conveniently located near-by. (Has your red light gone off yet? Because ours certainly hadn’t… actually, in hindsight, Josh’s had but Lindsey was clueless). The students took us around the corner, into an apartment building and down four flights in an elevator (yes, we were on floor negative 4) and into a small room where their pictures were hanging. Everything started out innocently enough, they were showing us the work and explaining the meaning to us – EVERYTHING in China has a meaning: when in doubt it usually means either longevity, double happiness or good luck. Then, after making it clear that they wouldn’t pressure us into buying anything they asked us if we’d like to purchase something. (At this point, we knew it was sketch, but the art was honestly pretty good and so Lindsey was still intrigued – Josh was also playing along and trying to be nice, which confused Lindsey because she thoughts Josh actually liked the art as well.) It wasn’t until an older couple from New York City – who were also being shown the art exhibit but another pair of young students – leaned over to us and said “you don’t really believe they’re art students do you?” that our real red lights finally went off. Even though our art students quickly agreed to cut the price of their artwork in half and then in half again, we walked out without buying anything – in hindsight a very smart move.

Then we went to go have lunch at a Peking Duck restaurant – but unfortunately we showed up at 1:40 and the restaurant was taking a Spanish fiesta and closed for lunch at 1:30. Who knew? So we ventured around the corner and found a clean looking restaurant in a nice looking hotel. We ordered – Josh was thrilled to get some Kung Pow Chicken and the dumplings that Lindsey ordered are still the best she’s had (even after a week of Chinese meals). After eating, we took off to see the Bird’s Nest – which is the place where the opening ceremonies for the Olympics will be held, as well as other Olympic venues that were supposedly nearby (keep in mind, that in Beijing, nearby could mean 40 minutes away). After walking past the metro station a few times, we finally found it and successfully navigated our way to the proper station. Unfortunately for everyone who will be attending the Olympic games, the venues are a good 30 to 40 minute walk away from the nearest subway station. This is because the location of the games used to be very low income housing – or, more accurately non-income housing – but the government of China kicked those people out of their houses and bulldozed the site in order to build the venues for the games. The Chinese government seems to have a habit of kicking people out of their houses without asking. This is mostly due to the fact that in China people are unable to actually own any land. All of the land here belongs to the government, but people can buy the houses on top of the land to live in but only for a maximum of 70 years and they don’t have any right to protest if the government suddenly decides to kick them out – which is what happened in Beijing for the good of the Olympics: remember that as you watch the gymnastic competition this summer.
Since the metro was so far from the venues, we took a cab to see the Bird’s Nest… the driver dropped us off the middle of the construction site. The venue is certainly impressive, but they are nowhere near being done readying the surround area for the games. Knowing even the little that we do about the Chinese government we are certain that they will get their shit together in time – they don’t want to be embarrassed on the world’s stage. As if the situation in Tibet weren’t enough… BUT it might be interesting to explain that even though CNN and the rest of the world is reporting that there is still unrest in Tibet, the Chinese people are under the impression that everything is fine there and back to normal… if it weren’t for the “evil” Dali Lama who is urging on the protesters. However, CNN is reporting that the Dali Lama has said numerous times that the Olympic games should be held and that Tibet wants peaceful autonomy not independence from China… unfortunately Chinese people don’t get to watch CNN.
After seeing the Olympic venues – from a walking bridge that goes over the freeway since this is the closest we lay people could get to – we tried to walk back to our original metro stop – we swear it looked close on the map – but after about an hour of walking, we still hadn’t found it. We got in a cab and tried to get back there, but we found out that without the actual address written in Chinese it is impossible to get anywhere… we ended up being taken to the school of Economics. WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHY. After switching cabs, we finally made it back to our hotel – and Lindsey promptly ordered a banana split.

It was a long day after all… Good times.